The main reference that regulate about wedding according to Hindu religion is Lontar Dharma Kauripan (Dharma Kauripan Manuscript) and Kitab Manawa Dharmasastra (Manawa Dharmasastra Holy Scripture, the Third Book: Tritiyo’dhyayah).
Both of the references are the basic low of custom for the Hindu followers in Bali, and the positive law is the Undang-Undang RI (Republic of Indonesia’s regulation) number 1/1974.
THE PURPOSE OF WEDDING
The purpose of wedding is to get spiritual and physical prosperity supported by material and non-material elements. The examples of material elements, which are called Artha (wealth) such as clothes, food and housing.
The non-material elements such as: 1) Dharma (goodness), it is in the form of our close feeling to Hyang Widhi (the Almighty God). 2) Kama (desire), it deals with sex satisfaction, love among husband-wife-children, descendants, security in the household, family respect, social existence in the society.
A marriage will become sacred when the dharma, artha, and kama are applied in it and according to the Manawa Dharmasastra Holy Scripture, it is named as Dharmasampati. In Catur Purusaartha (The Four purposes of life) it is mentioned that Moksa (Nirvana) can not be achieved without any support from the Dharma, Artha and Kama.
Among the Hindu people, marriage has special meaning and position in the human life because the bride and the bridegroom have entered the second “Ashrama” (the second step of life in Hindu belief) that is the Grhasta Ashrama.
Marriage is so honored because it can give a chance to the ancestor to reincarnate as a human. The reincarnation is important in order to give a chance to the spirit for purification, so that the spirit can be in unity with Hyang Widhi, the Almighty God.
Moreover, a Suputra (good) child born from the marriage and expected to do the Pitra Yadnya ceremony for the parent as the result the spirit can reach Moksa.
AN IDEAL MARRIAGE
An ideal marriage is a marriage that is not deviated from religious principle and regulation and has goals as what have been mentioned above.
Manawa Dharmasastra Tritiyo’dyayah:21 states about the eight wedding customs: Brahmana, Daiwa, Rsi, Prajapati, Asura, Gandharwa, Raksasa, and Paisaca.. Among those customs, three best wedding customs do not in contrary with the positive law, they are:
- Brahmana Wiwaha, the wedding involves a couple who is already mature and independence, has the same religion (Hindu), and the couple’s parents bless the marriage.
- Prajapatai Wiwaha, the couple’s parents arranged the wedding and give the couple in marriage, the bride and the bridegroom accept it sincerely and worship the both side parents.
- Daiwa Wiwaha, the wedding happen when a mature lady is give in marriage by her parent to a priest who has not married and has good attitude.
If a child born from Brahmana Wiwaha is able to do useful things, he/ she will make free the ten levels of his/ her ancestors’ spirit from their sins, make perfect the life of the next ten generations (MD III.37).
Meanwhile, through Prajapati Wiwaha, the child will make free six levels of his/ her ancestors’ spirit, but in Daiwa Wiwaha, it will make free only three levels (MD III.38).
SEX INTERCOURSE BETWEEN HUSBAND AND WIFE
Sex intercourse between husband and wife is regulated in MD. III.45, 48, 50. The husband can have sex with his wife anytime, except in the following occasion:
- The wife is in Cuntaka Ngeraja (in period);
- During the rerainan (holy day), such as in the purwani, purnama (full moon), tilem (dead moon), worshiping Hyang Widhi (religion ceremony);
- Time; at dawn, at noon, sandya kala (6-7 pm); 4) when the husband or wife in anger, sad, drunk/ unconscious.
MD. III. 48 state that if the couple wants to have a male child, the sex intercourse is only done in even day (panglong and penanggal). Meanwhile, if the couple wants a female child, the sex intercourse is done in odd days.
Panglong is the days after the full moon to dead moon, meanwhile penanggal is the days from dead moon to full moon. The odd panglong is 1, 3, 5, 7, and so forth after the full moon.
The even panglong is 2, 4, 6, 8 and so forth after the full moon. The odd penanggal is 1, 3, 5, 7, and so forth after the dead moon, and the even penanggal is 2, 4, 6, 8, so forth, after the dead moon.
The household happiness is influenced by the wife’s bright face (MD.III.62), and it presents the harmonious marriage. This addendum is considered as the reflection of the harmonious marriage because of the existence of dharma, artha and kama elements. MD.III.57 emphasizes through the following holy verse:
YATRA NARYASTU PUJYANTE, RAMANTE TATRA DEATAH, YATRAITASHU NA PUJYANTE, SARWASTATRAPHALAH KRIYAH
Whenever the women are respected , the Gods will fell happy, but whenever the women are not respected, there will not be any holy ceremony and everything done without any reward.
MD.III. 58 mentions:
JAMANO YANI GEHANI CAPANTYA PATRI PUJITAH, TANI KRTYAHATANEWA WINASYANTI SAMANTATAH
The house in which the woman is not respected, uttering curses is considered to be natural, the family in it will become dissolved as if it is destroyed by magical power.
TASMADETAH SADA PUJYA, BHUSANACCHA DANA SANAIH, BHUTI KAMAIRNARAIR NITYAM SATKARESUTSA WESU CA
That is why the people who want to become prosperous must give respect to women during the holy days by giving jewelries, clothes, and food.
RELIGIOUS EDUCATION AS THE FONDATION
The happiness of the family can be reached only if the couple applys the religious education (based on Hindu) well as what being stated in Manawa Dharmasastra (MD) Chapter III addendum 63. It states:
KUWIWAHHAIH KRIYA LOPAIR, WEDANADHYAYANENA CA, KULANYA KULAM TAMYANTI, BRAHMANATI KRAMENA CA
It means: through the lowest custom of marriage (in spite of the three best marriage mentioned above), neglecting the worshiping ceremony (rarely do the worshiping), disobeying the norms stated in Veda, showing unrespectable attitude toward the priests (it means annoying the priests’ advice), the big family (which is rich, has strong influence, famous, etc) will be in disorder.
MANTRATASTU SAMRDDHANI, KULANYALPA DHANANYAPI, KULASAMKHYAM CA GACHANTI, KARSANTI CA MAHADYACAH
The rich family with more knowledge about Veda, even with little wealthy is categorized as precious family and will get prosperity.
Wedding is the part of Manusa Yadnya ceremony which objective is to legalize the marriage. The marriage –settlements based on Hindu religion are Bhuta saksi, Dewa saksi, and Manusa saksi.
Bhuta saksi is done through mabeakala ceremony or mekala-kalaan. Dewa saksi is done by natab the Sadampati wedding offering, mapamit and nunas in the bride’s Sanggah pemerajan (family temple) and it continued by mapiuning in the bridegroom family temple.
Moreover, Manusa saksi is done by announcing and inviting the manggala adat (the head of the local custom) and the other authorized government as the witnesses to make the wedding certificate. The purpose of Bhuta saksi and Dewa saksi is to purify the Sukla swanita that is the fetus.